But Not The Armadillo - On rape and men (Oh yes, I'm going there)
while i wait for my pillow to get out of the dryer, and I am struck by something running through the comments pages, the stories of Those Guys who stepped up and helped a woman in a sketchy situation, and the stories of being in a situation where rape was possible but the guy was not a rapist, there are all these stories of almost rapes, or near assaults, or or pressuring hitting ons, or fear inducing street harrassment, or other near misses, things where quick wits or chance or luck or whatever kept it from getting worse, and they each have one or two. And I go to start a comment, and I realize if i started to document all the times I have been in near-misses, some of which missed less than others, i would be typing for a really, really long time. I can't even count them all, let alone list them. A good couple pages worth of the comments over there, probably.
And maybe it was something in my lifestyle that I was in So Many situations like these women are describing, that i was regularly in situations that allowed these Situations to develop, because i felt that being cautious was living in fear, so i would still hitchhike or be alone with strange men, and usually it worked out okay, but I guess I have more of those stories where it almost went weird than women wo didn't usually hitch, walk at night, live wild, drink with strangers, etc.
But I dont have any of the ones they are sharing where some other That Guy stepped in and defused a Situation. I can not think of one.
I have stories of guys I got drunk with and went to their apartment and they didn't rape me, sure, or where I was being harrassed while walking home and the guy decided to let it drop, but not stories where some other guy stopped the harrassment, or assault.
Also, if we're like, yay! they are that good guy because look, I was drunk and he didn't rape me, do they get a half a cookie for not-quite-raping? The guys who realize it's a bad idea after they've groped you a little? Because they think 'At least I didn't rape her' Because I have those stories.
right now I feel like I have too many stories and they are not the right ones.
- Current Mood:shaky