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beatifulugly
so i got all moved out of the place and am at my friend's house again for a few months, it seems. It was a hell of a couple days getting the move done and having the kid's birthday party, but i did it. fuck yeah, me.

also, I am officially leaving for a week at the rainbow gathering with my kid and some friends tomorrow morning. SO FUCKING EXCITED, I haven't been to one in literally 20 years. and I've never been to a gathering when I was this well prepared, but i am not taking a kid into the woods and expecting a bunch of hippies to provide. so there is a duffle full of mac and cheese and granola bars.
It just seems like the middle of a life change like moving and reconsidering my life path is a damn good time to go back to the woods, as part of the culture that was part of the happiest time of my life.
I expect I might come back as a new person.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/595312.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

omfg

beatifulugly
I'm moving in a few days. and have to throw the kid an awesome birthday, and then friday leave for a week at the rainbow gathering with some friends. too much.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/594978.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

so I am doing something ridiculous

beatifulugly
and probably taking a week between moving out of this apartment and into my friend's place and taking the kid to the goddamn rainbow gathering up north. it's been 20 years since I went, and the timing of having one close enough to home right while I am between places is perfect. My friend from the coop is taking her kid too, and he's one of my kid's best pals, so it should be an awesome chance for us to get away. I could use a mental reset, and some time in the woods, working as a community, sounds like just the thing.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/594746.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

wiscon

beatifulugly
I have contacted folks about joining concomm. have not gotten an official volunteer position, and am therefore not on the list yet, but I am looking forward to getting on the list, finding out what is going on, and doing whatever is needed to save wiscon.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/594432.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

on the Wiscon issue

beatifulugly
I have many thoughts, but few of them are clear and easy to articulate. The ones I can state include:

I believe it should have been a permanent ban, but I do not know what went on in discussions that caused people not to do that.

I believe if they were going to do this four year provisional thing, it should have been made more clear whether he can come back earlier if he proves he has reformed, and what level of proof of reformation would be required both before and after the four year period.

I truly believe that everyone involved was doing the best that they could in a fucked up situation with the information available, but there should have been more continuous communication between different years of con management, and a more deliberate effort to get more information.

More personally, I only interacted directly with frenkel twice. the first time he was rude to one of my children, and dismissed my speaking up for my kid rudely, and the second time he sat down to talk to me based on something he had overheard in a conversation, and made me subtly uncomfortable just by acting overly familiar and staring at my tits. Both of these incidents would have been in 09,(I think, maybe later, but while I was still married) and were enough that I avoided him ever since and was not surprised when more serious allegations surfaced. It seems likely to me that a lot of people encountered this sort of borderline harassment from him without ever feeling like it was something that could be reported because it was just subtle enough that you can't point at it.


also, this is making me reconsider my decision not to join the concomm a couple of years back,because y'all need angry people like me

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/594168.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

sick

beatifulugly
and I need to not be sick by saturday because I am doing the rocky horror again. nothing serious, just a goddamn summer cold, but I am tired, cranky, hot and scratchy of throat. rehearsal tomorrow should be a fucking blast.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/593869.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

as a follow up

beatifulugly
I am really happy with what has come out so far about how seriously the concomm is taking the situation, and that they are taking steps to work things out, and recognizing that those steps will take time. i believed all along that that would be what happened once it was brought up.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/593290.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments
maddow
and I may as well start with a question. Once everyone has settled back in from wiscon, can someone tell me why frenkel was there after what happened last year?

I've been assuming that the situation just got overlooked and he slipped through the cracks, but I don't really know, and it bugs me.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/592904.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

Tags:

omg I am posting

beatifulugly
holy shit I have not updated in FOREVER. Here is the short form update, and I am hoping to start posting more often again, but make no promise. I've been reading on here some, mostly on my phone, but not commenting or posting.

anyhow. Got an apartment in january, living right downtown again. Am burning through what I saved up because living downtown is really pricey if you aren't in a co-op, but we're squeaking by.

Shortly after I moved in here, we found out that MCC was proposing selling the co-op because of how much the repairs could be, so I have spent the last couple months doing everything I can to stop that. We managed to get the general membership to vote down the proposal to sell for the time being, but we are still working on putting together a passable repair proposal that comes in cheap as hell before another proposal to sell comes up. That kinda ate my life.

My apartment got broken into last month, and they took both my and my friend's laptop, which really fucking sucked.

But having a place downtown again means that even without the co-op, I have a social group that drops by. When I was out on the edge of town staying with someone else, random friends couldn't just stop by and visit a bit, and now they do it a lot. almost too much some days, but I am learning that it is ok to tell people "hey, you are awesome and I like hanging out, but I need some down time so please go away for a while" I'm not great at it yet, but getting better.

When my sublet here runs out, if I can't get back into my co-op yet, I'm going to membership at one of the indie co-ops that we've hung out at a few times, rather than sign another lease here.

Other than that, it's spring and it's glorious and it's almost time for wiscon. Life is sweet. Love you guys.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/592817.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

Sep. 16th, 2013

beatifulugly
So my coop had a fire. Nice big one. The porch and the bedrooms on the third floor wing are toast. My room iswet as fuck. The place has been deemed Inhabitable for maybe 6 months. We're staying with a friend but I am so far from downtown and in a single unit house without my community. Im exhausted sad and fucked. Posting from phone. Losing my shit.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/591982.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

all i can say right now

beatifulugly
is BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH. Am starting to appreciate how I have turned my life around and a triumphant laugh is the only response.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/591735.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

crap

beatifulugly
I have been so busy enjoying life and processing this radical perspective change thing that I have totally failed to get ahead on work before wiscon. in fact, I m a half day behind already, and am too fucking distracted to deal with it. I keep trying tho

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/588862.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

May. 18th, 2013

beatifulugly
my life is actually a series of very odd blessings right now. I can't say much else, but it is sincerely good.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/588128.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

things that are awesome

beatifulugly
I can pay my rent!

HQ had an absolutely fantastic birthday, at an arcade full of old school games, with most of his favorite people, including his godfather/waterbro who he hasn't seen in a whiiiile.

Said godfather/waterbro is one of my absolute all time favorite people in the goddamn universe and I am so excited to have him back in our lives and he seems, although still not well, happy.

He's coming over this evening to sit on the dock and catch up about the huge life changes we have both gone through the last couple years.

One of my favorite young people has her membership meeting to live here tonight. It is slightly less than awesome that I am skipping her meeting, but I will be at the next house meeting where it is actually decided, and there was DRAMA at the last membership meeting for someone I am friends with, so it is for the best to skip it.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/587986.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

woke up with the anxiety again

beatifulugly
because I still can not cover the bounced check or my current payment. sucked up and emailed my only cousin with money, who couldn't help last time to see if she could do a loan where I pay her back each pay period. She can do some, but not the whole amount I am behind, and isn't sure how much. if you could all just cross your fingers that when she looks at her finances she has more than she thought and can do the whole thing?

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/587650.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

but at least

beatifulugly
a badass person got me a wiscon membership so I have that to look forward to, even if I might be getting kicked out a week later.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/586281.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

fuckin hell

beatifulugly
i will never get ok financially. I keep getting so close and then something oes to shit. fuckfuckfuck. A friend who owes me a shit ton of money is finally getting back to work though, so unless that fucks up, there may be light, if I can come up with a couple hundred bucks in the meanwhile. I am just so tired of being behind.


eta I am aware this may be the anxiety disorder making it larger than it is.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/586191.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

help me make a decision

beatifulugly
ok, so I have the option to switch rooms in the coop to a slightly smaller room on the first floor.
Cons:Slightly smaller. Closer to the drum kit. There is one asshole who I don't get along with down there who doesn't want me to move in on his floor.
Pros: two of my closest friends in house, including my favorite whose kids are po's best friends, would be right across the hall. Closer to the main rooms/kitchen to hear what kids are doing. room is painted an awesome red instead of the yellow and teal mine is. 20 bucks cheaper. Closer to better bathrooms. Not on the same floor as any of the people who bitch about kids and noise.

Opinions?

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/585224.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

wiscon programming signup is a thing!

awesomeollins
and I am doing really good at not doing that thing where I sign up for like 18 panels. I do not even LIKE being on panels. I'm still signing up for a couple though.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/584042.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

ok, so

beatifulugly
I am taking all the money that I have to the co-op office place on monday, along with my willingness to grovel, and hopefully even though it is now short because of the returned check fee it will be enough. I'm so fucking close.

originally posted at http://maevele.dreamwidth.org/580892.html Comment there with OpenID or ask me for a code, or here if you must comment count unavailable comments

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